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5月31日 Taihu SoupEveryone is making big noise about the water in Taihu, but really, it can't be that bad!
Oh... Snap! 5月30日 Wu-Baby-GambinosI just had to drop this video on you guys - I was trying hard to remember the title of the song, but then I remembered:
Hell Yeah!
Dead Prez "Hell Yea". This has got to be one of those songs you can never hear again without picturing the video. This particular one is great because it starts off in Gonzo fashion; a couple of white tourists wind up in the wrong side of Miami and get their car highjacked. The first-person perspective style is what sells this video. Then, just check out all the different ways they "teach" you hustle. The ending bookends perfectly with a guy sitting on the beach. 1-800-Suicide (Reizablade Remix)Do fish ever commit suicide? Mine tried twice. I changed their water today, so I had put them in a low bowl. As I was rincing out their fishbowl, I looked to my left and what did I see? One of the fish flopping on the counter. I thought; "That's weird." I picked him by the tail gently (delicate little thing) and he thrashed about, but put him back in the bowl. No later than three seconds later, he jumped out of the bowl again. I had to put a lid on top of the bowl. Funny, I never see them jump out of the water in the fishbowl. Idiot.
I spent the last two days at home watching movies and reading. I wanted to go out and do something, but I had no idea what. Sadly, I had no one to call up and say "Let's Do Something." My friend Cokehead will be coming June 21st (to Wuxi on the 24th), and so that'll be great. Paint the town red as it were. Whoop it up. Until then I have nothing to do but watch the whole Baby Cart series. That's the serial films about a Japanese Samurai and his baby, as they travel around the country and tear shit up. My kind of film.
Speaking of film, because that's all I ever do, I watched EL TOPO yesterday.
![]() El Topo is the kind of film so legendary, so unreal, so amazing to watch that you want to recommend the whole world to watch but everyone will ignore it instead. Its a challenging film, so immediately most people find themselves turned off. Ever notice that? When a film requires brain matter to understand and teases your intelligence into decoding the symbols, well, most folks seem to hate that. El Topo is a Mexican film about a gunfighter and his son who travel killing bandits. The gunfighter abandons the child in favour of a woman, which tempts the gunfighter to kill "4 masters" in order to earn her love. The film is just incredible in every aspect. Its raw, ultra-violent and yet beautiful and sometimes so gentle. It was directed by Alejandro Jodorowski, who had his film play for a year straight in one famous theatre. There's hardly any dialogue in the film, and it makes it incredibly powerful. It's an amazing film, and I could rant forever on why its so great but odds are you're not going to want to see it if I write one.more.word.
I've got another full week ahead of me and I feel more or less relaxed. I'm reading Chuck Palahniuk's (author of FIGHT CLUB) latest book, RANT. One of the new Canadian teachers lent it to me. I'm halfway through it right now, but I'll let you know my impressions when I'm done with it. It's interesting and certainly in his distinctive voice. 5月27日 You Don't Know (about Fish)I've got to be honest - this is really just effortless work. I put them in the dirt, and watched it grow. The miracle of life. I moved the dirt around the surface in the pot to give it some air. I think you're supposed to that every now and then. I don't know. I'm making this stuff up as I go along. Are garlic cloves supposed to flower?
The bubbleheads (the two fish I bought yesterday) are doing fine. They've already lined the bottom of the fishbowl with their tiny fish excrement, so I should change the water tonight. Fish litterally shit themselves - the trail of shit sort of drags along with them in the water until the brush against the side of something to snap of the turd. It's really quite fascinating.
On a completely different note - a killer video for "You Don't Know" the "Re-Up" album produced by Eminem, starring him, 50 Cent, Lloyd Banks and Ca$his. Great track, great video. I like the pseudo Sin City meets ConAir look its got.
Added: Here's another G-Unit party beat featuring Lloyd Banks and Mr.Ferrari. You know, no matter how hard Lloyd Banks tries to look like he's enjoying himself, it always seems like he's away on Space Mountain. That said, this is a classic-style video with the bouncing cars and broads and so on. But just really glossy.
And... here's one for the female readership of APE-UNIT. Gwen Stefani's "Wind It Up". I'm not crazy about her sex-hidden-under-super-sugary-beats, but there's something to be said about the panache and style with which she does it. She's certainly on top of her game when it comes to this sort of thing.
Okay, okay - LAST one. I promise. Consider this counter-programming to the above selections. Onyx, Method Man, Raekwon, Killa Sin - The Worst. Great video with that dirty Wu sound. 5月26日 I'm With Stupid ->New pictures.
I bought a small bowl of fish yesterday. I won't bother naming them because they'll be dead in two weeks :(
It's delightful to see these tiny little things swim and bite away at the fish food while eating breakfast in the morning. There's only two of them, and the darker coloured one seems to have a healthy appetite where as the pale one just keeps swimming near the bottom.
I'll get baby turtles instead next time. 5月25日 SOHOHOjust dropping a line here on my day off before I continue onwards to Nanchang Temple.
I went to a club called SOHO yesterday in "xintiandi" (wrong pinyin), a Korean and Japanese plaza with restaurants, poolhalls and bars. SOHO was just another one of these shit Wuxi clubs: loud, loud, LOUD beepity-blop happy Nintendo music that still hurts my ears the following morning. Everyone in Wuxi clubs stands around or sits by the dance floor, but no one actually dances except the staff - only because they're paid to. Eh, that's the last time I go to a Wuxi club. They're bloody awful, and if I'm going to lose my hearing, it might as well be to beats produced by Clinton Sparks or Kanye or something like that.
My ears hurt :( 5月24日 Trans-Fatties: More than Meets the Eye!I was chatting via email to somebody just a few moments ago and mentioned how much weight I've lost since I've been to China. I feel better than ever before, and certainly more confident in my appearance. To illustrate this point, I've whipped-up the following picture:
On the Left side we see a young fat kid who loves cake. On the right side, we see that same young kid but minus the easy access to cake. What a wonderful difference China has made to my health. I've still got that same appetite though, but thankfully not being able to eat all those french pastries makes a hell of a difference. I've gone from wearing 36 waist-size pants once a upon a time to 34 to a now stunning 32!
It should also be noted Chinese cuisine is much healthier than a typical western diet, so I've got that to thank as well. Less quantities of meat and more veggies helped that transformation as well as drinking more tea than coffee. I should stay in China longer, methinks.
I should say however that I only notice the difference in my face. I still "gots dat mad buddha belly" as it were. 5月23日 How Quaint!Here are some pictures of my latest experiments.
The other day I chose to plant three cloves of garlic in a pot of earth that was previously occupied by a plant that died. Three days later it blossomed into something. All three of them seem to be doing well.
I have it by the window where it'll get plenty of sunshine. I'm naming it Zeze. Don't think of me as senile yet, please.
The following pictures are part of my nighttime excursions to better my skills at photography.
An building or something lined with bright blue neons.
I fiddled long hard to get the camera's settings just right. Turns out the night function on digital cameras (as per my understanding) work a lot like night-vision goggles. If you use that, it will always come out with a tinge of green. Here, I used a dusk-dawn setting which really captured the lights and hues better. The Wuxi sky may be polluted, but it makes the lights in the sky all the more photogenic.
I like this photo a lot, but its hard to make out. In the foreground is a person riding an electric bike. The car lights behind him help silhouette the figure. Click on it for a close-up.
The Rich Club's neons are reflected on the nearby hotel. Neat effect, but I couldn't find the right way to capture it, nor could I find the right angle.
And uh... Oh! A woman's chest. I assume this is an ad for a health clinic, but I couldn't help notice how racy this was for an ad in China. This is right above a spa in the WuAi complex. I just had to snap a picture. You know what they say in the advertising business: "Sex Sells."
Kung-FoolHere's a letter my brother sent me about "The Protector" Thai martial artist Tony Jaa's second movie.
Oh boy, let me bore you with some juicy details about that film... First off, its in Thai. Taiwanese is not a language. In Taiwan, they speak Mandarin Chinese, although probably with a tinge of a local dialect. The martial art in the film is Muay Thai, a close-combat technique specializing in using your elbows and knees. The signature move is the flying knee kick that's delivered to the chin, which can mortally injure an opponent. Needless to say that technique is banned in the professional fighting circuit. Anyway, long story short, he took "The Protector" (original title Tom Yum Goong) and edited away entire parts of it - including some bits that made it look like some people either lived or died rather than how it is in the original. I love all that behind the scenes drama. Hong Kong funnyman and all-around good filmmaker Stephen Chow, who wrote, starred and directed Shaolin Soccer, had his movie bought by the Weinsteins for US release and received horrible treatment. Thats why with Kung Fu Hustle he sold it to Sony Pictures, and even included a jab in the movie where a gangster stomps on the football and says "No More Soccer!". Its a jab at the Weinsteins for screwing him over. Bless 'im! All that and I haven't even seen the movie yet. I'm such a geek.
5月21日 Boogaloo 2 ElectricWell, I got bored at home yesterday and drank a beer too many and came up with this disaster. Let it be known this is what happens when I have nothing to do, and so you'll get to share the pain of my boredom. God, I need a girlfriend or something.
Wuxi After Hours 2 video. This one was filmed with my low-rider, as I cycled around the downtown in the wee-hours of the morning. Nothing particularly interesting, but there is the woman riding shotgun on the motorcycle as well as the plaza around the MoreSky360. If not, you could always enjoy the banging tune I set it too.
I promise the next batch of videos will be heartier fare than this.
5月20日 "get killed walkin' ya doggie!"Well, I'd read about it, but now I'm seeing it with my own eyes. "John Rambo" (click there for the trailer, it'll be gone by monday apparently), is the newest installment of that franchise. I've probably seen one of the Rambo films as a youth, but I can't remember a single frame. This one is balls-out violence with beheadings, exploding heads and eagle-claw-esque throat ripping. Sweet Jesus! I can't decide if I like it or not, but the kid in me sort of looks forward to watching this extravaganza of violent-action. Whoop, whoop.
Yesterday I watched F.W.Murnau's silent-era classic "FAUST" which I thought was visually interesting, but by god the orchestral score was timid and boring. Since there is no sound-effects or dialogue, the music should pick up the slack - it shouldn't have been put to such a subtle score, but instead something that would have spoken for where the characters cannot. It needed heavy percussion, but instead it was weepy violins and other shitty instruments that put me to sleep. I say let Alan Silvestri or the ghost of Basil Poledouris score it with their patented MEGA-DRUMS. Hell, get Armin Van Buuren to score the damn thing with this year's Ibiza Summer Trance set.
I also watched Carlito's Way by my dad's suggestions - Classic Pacino. He still couldn't get that Spanish right, even by my ears. But hey, that's why I love Pacino, he's a not a great actor, he's a great performer. I'd watch a movie where he watches a glass of water, y'know? The best Pacino quotes are these in my opinion (ad-lib style):
![]() "Cadillacs got more legroom for your legs"
"Even on Mars the best cooks will be men!"
"Everytime i get out, they pull me back in"
"The fastest way to get around the city - the subway"
"You can ball my wife, sit on my couch, BUT YOU CAN'T WATCH MY TV!"
"All ive got in this world is my word and balls, and i dont break em for nobody!"
"She's got a GREAAAT ASS, and you've got your head ALLLL the way up it!"
"Even the dog gets a warm piece of the side walk"
"I gotta hold on to my angst (snaps fingers) its what keeps me sharp, on the edge" "Say hello to my little friend!"
5月19日 Blanka Crouching FierceToday is the movie Speaker's Corner at 4pm. As usual, I try to select a film from a variety of genres and prepare discussion and comprehension questions. I had selected a film called "The Motel" from my personal collection. It is a film about a Chinese-American family operating a roadside motel. The movie is quite interesting, a tale of growing-up and puberty being the pits. The unfortunate part is that the film had no English subtitles and too many occasions of "blink-and-you-miss-it" nudity. One too many, so I had to put it aside and prepare questions for Casablanca instead. Next week I'll screen a Annie Hall if I get in time.
Speaking of 'blanca... Blanka! Street Fighter's Brazilian electric monster. I told my friend CokeHead, who will be coming to China on June 21st, to go ahead bring me my Dreamcast along with Capcom VS SNK 2, Street Fighter Alpha 3 and Street Fighter 3 : 3rd Strike. Oh Capcom, how I miss thy sweet 6-button setup! FUCK King of Fighters... the other day I finally found an arcade in Wuxi that had a Street Fighter game... Street Fighter Alpha 2... with 3 buttons missing.
5月18日 Shark Salad and Apple SauceHere's some pictures of food that I've tried cooking at home.
Stir-fried noodles in black bean sauce.
Vegetable curry.
I'm eating roasted eel with rice and kimchi right now. Yummers. I'm getting better and better at this cooking thing.
Here are some pictures of the Chong An temple mall.
The underground mall has waterways that snake between the shops. Quite Nice!
You can see a column for the Mickey Mouse shop right there by the "temple".
Another beautiful light and water display. Notice the PEPSI COLA shop to the left: believe it or not, they sell purses. That's right: a Pepsi shop that sells women's purses splashed with the Pepsi logo. This is something that would be considered very unfashionable in the west, because Pepsi is a brand of cola, not clothes. Especially for women's purses, which is just the oddest stretch. Who came up with that idea? Ridiculous and tacky. I wish I took a picture of the silly designs.
Somebody posing by a statue of a famous poet in the underground mall. You can't see it here, but water is constantly cascading down the wall behing him in addition to the fountains.
The "New Tourism in China" is all about shopping in synergy with looking at cultural relics, whether they be authentic, or in this case, newly built and kind of tacky.
Here we have a Greek restaurant that's been closed even before I ever came to Wuxi. The lettering stays up and decays into falling pieces. Shame about that, I would have loved to eat some gyros. I doubt Greek food ever suited the tastes of the Wuxi residents.
Though the walkway is decorated with plastic flowers, it is still a nice effect. A relatively slow shopping day for Chong An temple mall. 5月17日 Butternut Bebezinho BREAKING NEWS 2: Electric Boogaloo
Andis ain't the only one tracking ultrasounds in the blog world. Here's Marcos (my brother) and Pamela's child, which until it has a name, will be referred to as "Bebezinho" (beh-beh-zee-nhoo). What does Bebezinho look like?
![]() A butternut.
Here's hoping he doesn't turn out like one. 5月12日 Scorponok Transformers XXX videosHere's two interesting pictures of China from the Globe and Mail:
![]() Photo: Jianan Yu/REUTERS A resident stands inside a half-demolished building in Hefei, Anhui province. According to local media, half the building was demolished to make way for a road expansion project, but the local government has allowed the residents to continue living in the remaining part of the building during the construction process.
A visitor eats a fried scorpion at the Longhua temple fair during the May Day holiday in Shanghai. That's one mean grill she's got there. BONUSESESES: Check out this horrendous video for a "pitch" to beautificate downtown Toronto by making it look like some tacky crap mug you'd buy at a posh coffee shop in the gay district of whichever city in North America. Toronto is piss-ugly; you can't make a bulldog look like a Chihuahua just because you wrapped it in green neon overalls and stuffed product placement up its ass. Montreal sucks too, btw. 5月11日 i'll trawl ya mama, punkFound this in the comments section of the Globe and Mail Online:
What's with all the racist and xenophobic slurs I keep reading in the comments section of the Globe and Mail? Where are these people coming from? What era do they come from? Now, in the above message, the person is quoting what somebody else said, but what is wrong with that original poster? What spurred him to leave such a hateful jab? The discussion concerns this article on trawl fishing.
Thankfully, not all the letters are hateful and racist, sometimes a moderated and rational view manages to get expressed, like the above! Some of you may remember the article and comments I linked back to a month or so ago about the "decline of Hip-Hop". Some of the comments were just shameful ("rap music is just tribal noise"). This is Canada we're talking about. I expect better from a country that relies on immigration for any kind of population growth. I'm not even a "visible" minority in Canada, but I had a few words slung my way back in the day.
5月10日 Streetlife (feat. L-Tweezy from APE-UNIT)My new low-rider.
Mr.Slap-Nuts
A new fashion boutique called "Hong Kong City" decorated with Italian flags. To quote a famous Capcom line:
"it is misteri"
Eh, uh, broads selling cars to drunken louts by Club Scarlet.
Then drunken louts attempt to mack.
Club Scarlet. Uh, it's got 3 floors. That's about it.
Cantonese restaurant. Thumbs up.
Karaoke All-Stars.
Doggy-Doo.
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